Keep your friends close

I have what I consider a quirky coping mechanism that others might call repression. For example, I prefer to pretend the COVID-19 pandemic never happened. I won’t read any news or social media posts about it and even refused to read a book for my book club because parts of the novel take place during the pandemic. But one thing I hold on to from The Time That Never Happened is the importance of friendship.

Nearly all social scientists and medical professionals agree people with friends live longer, healthier lives. But it is also true maintaining these ties takes a great deal of effort and commitment. In The New York Times article “Have you closed your ‘social rings’ this week?,” Jancee Dunn writes: “Research suggests that friendships can improve your heart health, help you handle stress and fortify your immune system.” Dunn provides the following tips about how to strengthen your friendship bonds:

• Find free time that works with both of your schedules. This can be as simple as walking your dogs together once per week or checking in via voice text or phone calls during a morning commute.
• Experiment with technology. Texts and phone calls are great, but having a buddy on FaceTime while you fold laundry can provide great companionship. Or consider sending a chatty old-fashioned email or letter by post that will surprise and delight your friends.
• Keep track of their lives and check in. If your friend recently visited a loved one in the hospital, for example, sending a text or calling them to see how they are doing would be much appreciated.

Dunn spoke with Jaimie Arona Krems, director of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research, who said though the standard health advice is to “eat your veggies, drink your water and get your sleep, I’m shocked that friends aren’t on there, too.”

So go ahead and take a few minutes to check in on a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. You will both be glad you did.